Day 1 - again...

I did not stick to my plan yesterday. I did not go to the gym. I nearly had a binge. Almost.

I won't go into details, but things got rattling emotionally rough for me yesterday. Just too much shit. I wasn't feeling substantially yesterday, and had my murder pressure checked. Guess what? It was high! I hit NEVER had broad murder pressure! I came bag from work, place on my gym clothes, and headed discover for the gym. But I had to kibosh by the post duty before they closed. It was sometime during my drive that I got the "fuck it" knowledge and stopped for pizza. My legs hurt same hell from running on Monday, and I generally meet felt same shit. I brought the pizza home, and in my mind somewhere I gave myself permission to "start over tomorrow".

After the second swing of pizza (when the heartburn ordered in) I came to my senses. Yeah, I felt rattling disappointed that I let myself down. Ironically, I felt even more disappointed that I would hit to confess to the blogging world that I'd failed. But I also knew that it could hit been much worse. I'm not making excuses, or justifying what I did, but I could hit ate the whole container of cupcakes on my kitchen table. I could hit ate the whole box of Lucky charms. I could hit went to Kroger and bought cookie dough. I mean, I rattling had considered every of this! But I didn't do any of it. I essentially locked myself in my shack for the rest of the night and cried it out. I know food doesn't fix the kind of stress I'm feat through. I don't know why I always think it will.

So today I start over. I woke up, got dressed, and came in the kitchen to fix my hypocrite and WAS OUT OF FROZEN STRAWBERRIES! I had already dumped the protein powder in the liquid in the blender, so I proven using cover instead. It was a mess, so I meet dumped it discover and ate a bowl of fiber one and light soy milk. May I add that I MEASURED my cereal and milk so I could journal it. I also sat down this morning and journaled everything I ate after I fell from the wagon yesterday. At least I ease got 135 oz. of liquid in yesterday...

And surmisal what? One of the things I was so stressed most was how I was feat to make my paycheck debase so I could clear my rent and live for two weeks. I got a text from my ex last night informing me he had meet left money in my mailbox. I'm guessing he is ease strung-out so he didn't want the kids to see him. It was exactly sufficiency for me to clear what needs to be paying and ease hit sufficiency left over for gas and toilet paper. Do you think that was whatever sort of sign? I did... God always provides, right? Even from places (or people) you least expect it from.